Some days (or seconds) I think that “you just have to keep going, trust in yourself, and do the work that has to be done”. I think that I can’t waste any more days, and that I just have to work my ass off and it’ll pay. I think that maybe I’ll make it. Maybe I’ll get through. I tell myself to believe, and to not be let down by others anymore. “It’s just YOU!”
Other days I think that “I’ll simply lie here until it passes, let what happens happen, and get back to it when the hardships are over”. I think that I’ll just let it be, until it gets easier. I think that maybe it will pass. I tell myself to believe that it shall pass, and be like a bear, and sleep through it.
No matter what I think and what I tell myself, I know that I am not strong enough to get through and make it, and I am not dumb enough to believe that it will pass.
Some days I believe and some days I don’t, but most days I just don’t know.