When memories make you throw up

I felt ok. I was going to bed late, 2 am, exhausted. Feeling good because I assumed I would fall asleep easily, since I was so tired. Now it’s soon 4 am. And I know that this is nothing compared to all the things that are out there. But believe me it’s bad enough. I read some text messages from that period, and I got reminded. How can I overcome this when poking at the surface of it makes me nauseous. How can I overcome this when reading masked text messages I wrote to my friends not telling then anything makes me throw up. How can I overcome this? I’m so ashamed. Please don’t hate me. God, I’m being to honest again. 

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