Sound surrounds me and all I want to do is scream. Shut up, I think. SHUT UP.
I can’t stand the chittery-chatting. I can’t stand to see. I want to cave in, isolate myself, underneath my covers and listen to loud-loud music. Only real noise can block out the noise I feel. Nothing. Nothing hits me. I turn to it the other cheek. And get hit again. Nothing is playing table-tennis and my head is the ball.
Heaven falls down. Game over. I get nauseous and heaven falls down again. And again and again. Earth spins too fast. You cannot spin-race the earth – because you will never win.
Silence hugs me tight. Silence squezes around me. Tighter. I can’t move an inch, and I can hardly breathe. Nothing comes out, even though it’s on the verge. Silence chokes me, but only my soul dies … my soul and my hope.
I hear a sigh, someone’s scratching their head, whispers, and the only thing I think is GAAAH! Silence is so noisy! Silence is too loud.
Catch me, force me. Hit me if you must. You must. Beat the living crap out of me so I won’t feel the noise in the silence. There’s. Too. Much. Noise.
Let me go. Leave me be. Set me free. Life is not in my future. SHUT UP, I think.