Good bye hospital, hello world

So, I’ve been to the hospital. I went for my tuesday appointment with my psychologist, and I didn’t return.

Even though I was only there for 3 days, I don’t really know where to start. I want to blast off about the idiot psychiatrist I met. I wanna tell you about how disappointed the system made/makes me. I want to let you know that in the midst of all that, there was a nice guy whom I played chess with, he won 2 times and I won 2 times.

But I can’t, yet. I haven’t been very good at being honest lately, and I don’t think I’m all the way there. But soon, I hope. Or … lol, who cares anyways. It’s not as though if I don’t write about that anyone is gonna miss it … I’m the only one reading this shit. And how absurd is that, me writing to myself about no one but myself reading it. And … I’ll stop.

Well. I’ve spent the last hours recording with my recorder the song I posted a draft off. Somewhere in there I mess up the lyrics, and it’s somewhat off pitch at times too. But I do think it’s better than the draft. Let me know, what you think! Please.

It’s about losing someone, and not managing to let them go. How life seems too lonely without them.


12 thoughts on “Good bye hospital, hello world

  1. My computer’s speakers aren’t working so I can’t hear your song..but I wanted to let you know that I was here, read your post and considered the things you said. You’re not the only one reading your blog šŸ™‚

    Hospital visits are never much fun. I hope what landed you there is bearable on your own? 72 hours isn’t much time passed… šŸ˜¦

    Take care.

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one. Even though I think it’s a good thing just to get things off my chest sometimes, it’s better when I can get some response and encouragement, understanding, from others as well.

      72 hours is definitely not much time passed, and they totally failed at assessing the reason I was there. The doctor didn’t like me much after I told him off for not showing decent amount of manners and respect for me. I don’t know anything. I’m ambivalent. Time will show whether it’s bearable on my own or not.

      Thanks for commenting and being a kind person! šŸ™‚ We need more of those!

  2. this song is so beautiful…and the meaning behind the lyrics make it even more meaningful. Please don’t give up dear i’ll miss you.

    • Aw, that’s so sweet.
      Thank you! I hope you’re being truthful. Waking up today, listening to it again, I don’t feel like it was any beautiful at all. But I’m trying to believe you šŸ™‚

  3. You’re not the only one reading your words, I read them too. I am sorry you ended up in hospital, I know hospital is not a nice place to end up in, especially against your will. The song sounds amazing, I love how you’ve made it sound like you’re singing with yourself. If that makes sense? I don’t know the technical term for that double vocal effect.

    • Thank you. I had some trouble making the double vocal, so I’m glad you liked it šŸ™‚ Btw, I don’t know what the technical term for it is either! Haha!

      I’m glad there’s someone reading my blog. I mean, it’s good to just get the words out, or like not have to carry them inside, in and of itself, but that someone responds and comes with encouragement in addition to getting it off my chest, is so much better.

  4. You’re very welcome dear! I know how hard it is to believe yourself but it’s okay baby girl. Just take baby steps. I hope you’re doing well today xx
    ~monstrous bear hug from Bea

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