I had a dream that I could touch someone, with my words. I had a dream that I could capture people and take them with me into a world where there was love, and hope.
I used to have this dream, when I was younger. When I was still hoping for a better tomorrow. (Jeez, do you need to be so dramatic!?)
I early figured out I loved writing. I put a lot effort into the stories and essays we had to write for school. It was easy. The ideas just came flowing, without effort. The words just lined up. They came spilling out of my fingers, and there were rarely breaks in the flow. I don’t know where the creativity came from. But it felt like I was home. Like I was doing what I was supposed to do. Mind you, I was only 13, and what I wrote wasn’t really good. But it didn’t matter then. What mattered was that it felt right. The feeling of capturing someone with my words, it was amazing. So I dreamt.
Another thing that was important to me already then, as long as I can remember really, was helping others. To take advantage of my opportunities to mean something for someone else. To use every moment I had in others’ lives to make it better. To be someone who made others feel good. Maybe it had to do with me feeling worthless, and having to make others feel good to be worth my place in this world, or maybe it was because I knew how little it took to make someone’s day, or break someone’s day. So I dreamt.
I had a dream that I could touch someone, with my words. I had a dream that I could capture people and take them with me into a world where there was love, and hope. I dreamt of making a difference with my words. I used to think that if I wrote, and what I wrote changed one person’s life, it would all be worth it. There are politicians and people of organizations that spend their days working for a better tomorrow, changing the world little by little. And I wanted to do that. But not by laying down a law, or by traveling to famine struck countries in Africa or Asia, but by finding the words that could reach into someone’s soul, and make them realize that it’s worth it, and you can make a difference.
I’ve forgotten what it felt like dreaming like that. I have this strange, vague remembrance of it feeling good. I’ve forgotten what it was like to believe in the future.