Why can’t I cry?

I read on a blog a few days ago that crying is being weak. (And here I take a long pause trying to find the post where I read it so I could be accurate, but I realize I have no idea how to find the exact blog, since it was a random one I found in the ‘tags’-thingy, and that crying being weak could be a statement I found anywhere, so it probably doesn’t really matter to those who read this where I read it. Sorry for the long blurb about what just happened … OMG! What’s the matter with me?! Anyroads:)

I disagree. I totally disagree.
I think crying is being strong. It’s about letting yourself feel what you’re feeling. Letting go of the control and letting your body experience the emotions you’re filled with. It’s accepting the different reactions we as humans have to the world, sadness being one of them. Being able to cry means being able to live freely. Restricting yourself, and holding tears back prevents you from experiencing the depth of our lives. Crying can feel good, but I would say crying hurts, it’s painful. So that’s why I’m saying that crying is being strong. And sometimes crying is being brave.

My eyes fill with tears. There’s so much pain, hurt and sadness inside of me, and that makes my eyes water, but I do not cry. And it’s not because I hold it back intentionally. I don’t know why I cannot cry, I don’t understand it. I feel my eyes get wet, but I simply cannot let the tears fall. There are times I’m overcome with emotions, and it’s terrible, everything is just terrible, but I don’t cry.

My therapist asked me something a while back, and I said that it was poetic, and it was, but he responded that no, it wasn’t meant to be, it was just the truth, a truthful question. He said “If you let yourself cry, do you think you could ever stop?”


17 thoughts on “Why can’t I cry?

  1. Insightful post – and I can relate a little. I get so down and it’s shocking because the physical state of crying use doesn’t seem to click with me. Rarely, do I rain waterfalls, but it just…it’s strange. It feels unnatural, yet isn’t.

    • Well, I don’t think we are weak when we don’t cry, I think it’s more that we’re so worn out, we can’t carry any heavier. We use all our ‘strong’ to just keep existing.

  2. Crying isn’t weak at all, but I have heard that from a few choice people over the years. It pains me that people can think this way. Allowing yourself to feel, especially if you have a mental illness, can be the strongest thing you can do.

  3. I used to be that way with crying. When I was little it felt like giving in and I hated to give in…stuck with me for years. It was after my son was born that things changed for me…suddenly I could cry for him and it was just a short leap over to being able to express my own sadness.

    I agree with you that crying is healthy and strong. Don’t be too hard on yourself for not quite getting there..it’s your brain protecting you from the things that hurt you enough to make those tears fill your eyes, even if they don’t fall.

  4. I can’t imagine what it feels like not being able to cry; I could hazard a guess and say very frustrating. I agree – crying is not weak, not at all. The person that wrote that is why our world is full of messed up people (usually mean) who bottle up their emotions. I cry very easily, and it is such a release for me; I think I would be a lot different a person if I didn’t cry. I loved your post – the honest and the words were very touching x

  5. Oh, and just to clarify further, I didn’t mean that people who can’t cry are messed up! Just that it is messed up to say that you shouldn’t cry (as in when boys and men are told that!).

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