What does this mean? Can I never feel anything but pain? Why do I always end up back here? With the pain.
Oh, a rainbow! – Pain. Oh, a puppy! – Pain. Oh, sweet lord, kissing feels good! – Pain.
This can’t be happening. How am I supposed to believe life can be good, when pain keeps corrupting everything? I can’t find purpose and hope and future in this life that feels so hopeless. And when all things good lead back to misery, I can’t even hope for that hope, somewhere in the future. When does happy become happy again? And nervous nervous?
But I know the answer though, it’s always here, in capital letters: DIE.