Why do I care!? I haven’t allowed myself to care. So why do I find myself with this strange, really strange, emotion inside. This caring-thingy! Why is it here? I haven’t allowed it, or invited it into my life. I don’t care. I don’t wanna care. Or I do. Kinda. But then I don’t, you know?
I explicitly told myself not to care about this human being, that I was better off alone. But then I go ahead and care. WHY!? Stop it, god damn it! Stop it, you worthless piece of shit! You don’t deserve anything! You’re WORTHLESS. Stop caring! STOP!
I haven’t allowed myself to care. 3, 2, 1: self-destruct.