I wanna jump. Every day I wanna jump. I lie here in my bed and I feel isolated, apart. Apart from everyone and everything that I know. I finally lie here at end of a day where my only consolation has been the fact that I get to lie down at the end of it. But now as I’m lying here, there is no consolation, there is no relief. And there is nowhere to turn. I am so tired. I am so sad. I feel so alone in the world. Apart. Isolated. Will I ever want to live? I lie here and I crave an escape. I need to be someone else for a while. I need to take a step away from my life. I’m praying to all the gods I don’t believe in. I would do anything to make it stop. And truth be told I am doing everything I can. I don’t think it’s just wanting not to suffer anymore or not wanting to live. Tonight I’m beyond.
I want to die.