I think something’s wrong with me. Actually I know something’s wrong with me, but I don’t know what. It hurts so bad. I am so stupid. Why do we keep doing these things over and over again? Why do we not remember the pain, and the shame this brings? Even the nail beds! For heavens sake!? I look like a fucking penguin when I walk. The throbbing in my toes will probably keep me up tonight, and the fucker inside reminds me that that is why I had to do it: so I wouldn’t sleep and so I’d walk around never forgetting the pain. You’re to. Never. Forget. The. Pain.
Fellow self-harmers, why do we do this to ourselves? Even when we know the relief won’t come, and even when we know that the abuser inside will never be satisfied. We say “I’m never doing that again”, but then we do. Why? Why am I so incredibly stuuuuuuupid.
For those of you who has left a comment: I love every comment I get. I read it and appreciate it and reread it. I will get back to you. But I’m trying to be in a right mind when I do, but I will answer it, that’s a promise you can count on. As long as I’m not hit by a meteor. In the meantime I am reading them and appreciating them, over and over. Cause they and you are valuable to me.